Mir: No.
Mike: C'mon, you want to be trapped in the house all day? You have to learn to drive at some point.
Mir: I want to take lessons first.
Mike: Really? You know that you'll have to drive around with a giant "L" on your car. People here think that that stands for "learner," but you and I both know what it really means.
Mir: Okay....
Mike: BOYS, GET IN THE CAAAAAAR!
Mir: Alright, everyone buckled up?
Merrit: Hey, I found my lollipop from yesterday!
Ollie: [starts crying] Lolly! Lolly! I wannalolly!
Mike: Merrit, you are not going to eat that in front of Ollie. Hand it up here.
Ollie: LOLLY! I WANNALOLLY!
Mike: [unwrapping lollipop] Merrit, I'm going to give Ollie your lollipop. Everything is going to be fine.
Merrit: Aw, man...
Merrit: Hey, I found my lollipop from yesterday!
Ollie: [starts crying] Lolly! Lolly! I wannalolly!
Mike: Merrit, you are not going to eat that in front of Ollie. Hand it up here.
Ollie: LOLLY! I WANNALOLLY!
Mike: [unwrapping lollipop] Merrit, I'm going to give Ollie your lollipop. Everything is going to be fine.
Merrit: Aw, man...
Mike: I just need Ollie to be quiet. Here, you can play your PSP...Okay, Mir, put in it reverse. Back up slowly...SLOWLY I SAID.....Okay, that's good.
Mir: [silence]
Mike: Now just pull out and make sure you stay on the LEFT side of the road....Okay, that's good. Stay on the left.
Mir: I can't do this. Hey, let's just get out now. You go on into work and we'll do this another day.
Mike: You CAN do this. You ARE doing this. You'll be just fine.
Mir: [silence]
Mike: I SAID STAY ON THE LEFT!
Mir: I feel nauseous.
Mike: Okay, here comes the first roundabout. Things here are a little loosey goosey. So don't feel like you have to stay in the lane you are in. Just don't hit another car and you'll be okay. Stay in the inside lane and take the second exit.
Mir: Okaaaaay....
Mike: Merge, merge, MERGE now!
Mir: I'm starting to get a headache. I can't do this.
Mike: See that was easy. You made it through your first roundabout. Hey, look at you. You're driving in England.
Mir: [focused silence]
Mike: After this next roundabout, you'll be on the dual carriageway to Newcastle. The lane that you end up in will be the lane that you stay in for a while. So you can just relax and enjoy driving.
Mir: I think I'm going to throw up. Crack a window. I need some fresh air.
Merrit: Mommy, I just passed the second level and the end boss was a huge green giant and I totally cut his head off.
Mir: HUSH! I'm really concentrating right now and I can't... listen... to.... what.... you're....
Mike: You're doing fine....You're drifting to the left. Watch the curb. You have traffic on your left.....You're doing fine. Now we're coming into the city.
Mir: I don't like this. I want lessons.
Mike: Now merge into this lane...[pointing]...this roundabout is the biggest in Newcastle...just stay in the center lane...once we come out, you're going to take an immediate left.
Mir: [silence]
Mike: Take the left now, the left lane. LEFT.
Mir: I missed it!! Sorry. I'm sorry! Now what?
Mike: I don't know. I haven't been down this street before. We'll be alright. Just take the next left.
Mir: Is that MY RED LIGHT?!
Mike: No! You're stopped in the MIDDLE of the intersection. You need to move! ...GO!...
Mir: Did you see how those two ladies looked at me?
Mike: Who cares? The British have a lot of grace....hey! watch the lampost....the British have a lot of grace, but lamposts, not so much.
Mir: Oh my God, am I in the wrong lane??? I AM IN THE WRONG LANE!
Mike: No, no, this is a one-way street. You're doing fine...[sweating]
Mir: We're lost aren't we?
Mike: No, we're just looking for a place to park.
Mir: [silence]
Mike: Park there.
Mir: I'm going to throw up now.
Mike: You did it. Now just turn off the car. We'll eat here in the city and then you can drive me on to the office.
Mir: I'm not driving anywhere.
Mike: What? You've got this...
Mir: No, I don't. That was horrible. I'm not driving anymore today.
Mike: But I thought you were taking the kids to the farm after you dropped me off?
Mir: Change of plans. We'll walk to the castle keep and just take the Metro home. You can keep the car.
Mike: Cool. I need a cigarette.
Mir: Me, too. Can I have one?
[I must acknowledge my co-writer, Mike, for his contributions to this post! Thanks honey!]
[I must acknowledge my co-writer, Mike, for his contributions to this post! Thanks honey!]
10 comments:
Oh, as much as I KNOW you were a bit of a wreck, Mir, the way you wrote the dialog just gave me a great laugh. Very entertaining for the rest of us. However, I know that when that time comes for us with Kara driving the first time over there we may see a very similar blog entry. Love you guys. :)
OMG. You're crackin me up. You're acting more like me, a wuss, than you, the brave, can-do Super Mom.
Well, chin up, you'll muddle through straightaway, Luv!
You need to find a place like Camp Rockmount offseason to practice. Remember when I took my dinged up Datsun there and let you and Ryan practice driving, and when the groundskeeper came over to ask what we were doing, I said I was teaching you to drive and he took one look at the dented car, raised one eyebrow, and mumbled something about good luck? Remember?
You two are so cute!! I'm proud of you, Mir! You'll be taking on those roundabouts like a pro before long!!
What a funny story, but I'm sure it was terrifying! Good job driving though, and very brave to drive in such a busy city. I had to drive my husband to his new job on our second day here. I was terrified! I never ended up in the wrong lane, but I was always drifting off to the left and scraping the car. I totally recommend getting a cheap GPS from Argos. Helps a whole bunch while learning to drive.
Hahahahhaaaaa....
aahahahahhaaaaaaaa....
Hhahahhaaaaaaa!
Ha ha ha! You had me cracking up. You and Mike's conversation sounded a bit like Scott and I last winter in St. Croix. They drive on the left too. I hope you've gotten back on the horse. The second time is never as stressful. :-)
OMYGOSH- HILARIOUS. i felt like i was right there with you, squished between merrit and ollie in the backseat, getting nauseous with every roundabout.
you rock.
This story was what I needed. I've been in that lane before I understand your pain. I didn't drive for the 1st year in OKI, but then I learned and loved it.
Now I can't drive here!
Keep up the good work! You too, Mir. hahaha
Mir, I can't tell you how much I am enjoying your blog. It makes me feel close to you all and brings back a lot of wonderful memories too. You'll be driving like a pro in no time. The good thing about roundabouts - if you get confused you can just keep going round and round until you figure it out, or until you get dizzy, which ever comes first!!
Love And Miss You All!
I may have thought this humorous if my two grandsons were not aboard. Lordy, Mike, what were you thinking?
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