What I'm Missing Most...

...is this pregnancy. Meet my niece, Page. When I first started dating her "Uncle Mikey" she was just six years old.

I thought she was the sweetest little kid, and she was. She even forgave me when I accidentally shut the car door on her hand as we were leaving to go to the park one day. And she seemed genuinely happy with a Christmas present I gave her once...a little black purse filled with colorful paperclips and various coins. (What was that about anyway? I can't imagine that it even seemed like a good idea at the time. Hello, choking hazard.)

She's told me that when Uncle Mikey and I broke up after our first year of college--she would have been about eight or so, I guess--she cried about it. [Sidenote: Mike, you should be ashamed of yourself, breaking both my heart and Page's heart at the same time!]

When Mike and I got back together a couple of years later, it was great to be back in Page's life. She was a tween then, and she and I spent "girl time" together...it was different, but cool. We had a tradition for a few years running of me taking her Christmas shopping at the mall. And when Mike and I married in 1996, of course she was my flower girl, though I kept telling her that if she grew taller than me before the wedding day, I'd have to kick her out of the wedding party. She was growing up, and our friendship changed. We talked about school, and mean girls, and books we liked, and eventually, boys.

Now she's out of school, she's married, she's expecting her first baby. And I'm not there to pat her baby bump and shop for nursery bedding and all the rest of it. This is what I'm missing most.

I love you, Page!